Chit Chat – Life Update

Chit Chat – Life Update

I’ve been away from my blog from several months and I thought it would be fitting to write a life update! As I mentioned in my New Years Post, I’m moving towards a more quality centric blog instead of quantity. The pressure to blog/vlog has had very bad consequences in the past but blogging when I feel like puts me at ease. However, I always worry that if I’m away for too long, you’ll all forget me! So a life update is awesome to just catch you up to speed on what I’ve gotten up to in my absence!

If there is anything on this list you’d love me to expand on and write a blog about do let me know!

Graduate School

I’m now in my second semester of graduate school. It still feels strange sometimes that I’m doing my masters because I never had a concept of what graduate school would be like. It’s a lot of work, but it’s given me a lot of skills in a few months. My favourite part about graduate school is learning coding/programming languages. I was excited, but nervous to learn it from scratch coming here but I’ve learnt so much and its now one of my best parts about the course. I think it’s that eureka moment I get after stumbling on a code for hours and finally seeing it work. It’s an emotional rollercoaster but I love it so far.

Move Back To WordPress.com

Earlier this year I moved from my blog, which was hosted on WordPress.com to a self hosted site. This inadvertently caused a massive amount of headache as my website crashed multiple times within this time. Also, trying to find the right themes and customizing was also challenging. However, the final nail on the coffin was the lack of engagement with the WordPress community! I hate it. I realised that I don’t care about SEO, domains, self hosted, traffic or any other blog things I “should” care about. It produces a lot of negative feelings for me and makes me unfocused on producing blog content.

I decided to move back and I’m happy and calm not caring about all the extra blogging stuff. I just want my likes and comments over blogging jargon that gives me headache any day!

My site currently looks like a headache so bear with me because WordPress is currently facilitating my transfer! Everything will be back to normal after October 5th.

Self Awareness

I’m striving to be more self-aware. I was really inspired by a Japanese TV show called Terrace House (It’s on Netflix, thank me later).  Besides being amused by all the cultural differences Japanese people had with the Western world, I was particularly impressed by their self-awareness and reflection on all aspects of their life. There is also a strong desire to be better, and think of other people’s feelings and how their interactions affect people. I tend to think of how interactions affect me instead of the other way around, which upon watching this show, exposed my selfish tendencies! I know, strange. I can learn from anything, even reality TV shows. Haha

Dreadlocks

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I started dreadlocks! Myself! They’re currently 4 months old and coming along nicely. I guess you could say I gave up on my natural hair this summer. The breakage and tangling was real so I decided to lock it since my hair tends to want to lock itself every 2 seconds. My locs give me even more peace of mind since I use less products and only have to deal with my hair every 2 months. I ALSO DONT HAVE TO COMB IT OMG YESSSSSSS!!

Weight Loss

I’ve lost a total of 8kg (17lbs) since the beginning of the year.  I lost a lot of weight, but I lost it slowly to preserve my madness. I attribute the first few months of the journey to eating low-calorie alternatives of the things I loved like brownies, ice-cream and spaghetti. However, towards the last few kilograms, I attribute my weight loss to intermittent fasting and eating one massive, delicious, calorie dense, meal a day. I have my hangry, binge days but all in all its going pretty smoothly since I always feel very satiated after each meal.

That’s it for my life update! Theres many little other things that have happened but this is just the main stuff. Thank you for reading!

What Does Love Mean To Me?

What Does Love Mean To Me?

Love is such a strong and peculiar emotion that is very interesting to me. I have never been “In love” but I have loved and experienced the love of other people.

In the spirit of Valentines day. I thought I should revive one of my short, rambling posts and publish it since it’s so fitting for the season! What does love mean to you?

Here is my understanding of love. Love to me is like a sacred, safe place. It’s knowing that I will be always be a part of you, no matter what. I will always have that person to turn to. They are not afraid to tell me the truth, chastise me, and they always do things with my best interests at heart. They always want the best for me and consider you at every step of the way.

Love can mean being vulnerable…

Love can mean being vulnerable. There is that element of trusting someone with your innermost feelings and insecurities in the hopes that they will comfort you, accept you or understand you. It’s scary and liberating at the same time. I used to be afraid of being vulnerable with someone, but I strongly believe you can never experience great love without being vulnerable.

I cannot put conditions on the people I love…

Love isn’t selfish or self-serving. I cannot put conditions on the people I love. Meaning that if they don’t do XYZ I will decide to take my love away and stop loving them. I may be disappointed, sad or hurt but I will still love the person.

Love is being able to trust that person with your life. I can’t imagine anyone I love having bad plans or hoping something bad happens to me. I always hope for the best for the people I love and I genuinely want them to progress in life. No jealousy!

Love to me means forgiveness. This is huge, but I think a great hallmark of love is the ability to forgive. First things first, people are irritating as hell, lol.  Someone is always going to do something that will annoy you. And you can place your trust in people,  but they’ll eventually disappoint you. I can’t hold their mistakes against them and this means forgiving and forgetting. Love is not perfect!

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Romantic love is peculiar to me seeing as how I’ve never experienced it. I’ve never been at that height of emotion with any one, but I personally think it is a beautiful thing for two people to care so deeply for one another. Even more so when they decide to tie the knot!
I don’t consider myself to be a very romantic person. I’m pretty simplistic in my views when in comes to love. I don’t believe in the concept of a “soul mate” or “prince charming”.  I am definitely open to idea of falling in love but the thought of falling deeply in love with someone is completely unfathomable at this point.

I just wonder how the transition from “boy I think is cute” to “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” happens? I just don’t understand it yet. I hate people too much for that. Lmao

How did you celebrate valentines day? I went to class, stayed at home and watched One Punch Man! Very uneventful for the occasion, but also relaxing!

Anndd how did you know you were in love?

What does love mean to you?

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How To Let Go Of Negativity On Social Media and The Blogosphere

How To Let Go Of Negativity On Social Media and The Blogosphere

It more difficult to stay positive on social media and the blogosphere these days when you are bombarded by negative feelings and ideas on a daily basis. I have recently seen many posts about how blogging is changing (for the worse), the Instagram algorithm sucks and bloggers are liars. Basically, the rhetoric is that blogging is all round more difficult. I have also witnessed a couple of twitter fights among people and Snapchat stories where someone is calling another person names and asking for a fight. It is all very exhausting to witness.

Regarding the blogging situation, I personally believe that blogging and it’s platforms must eventually evolve and change. There may be a few growing pains while that happens, but there is always room to thrive in any environment!

I’m a generally positive person so I always try to avoid negativity at all costs now. Be it negative thoughts like anger and envy or just negative people and posts in general. It is not always easy, but here are some of the tactics I had to adopt to let go of that negativity!

Out of sight, out of mind.

Everyone knows the best way to get over something is to cut all contact. I think the same can be applied in dealing with negativity and negative emotions. Everything I ingest on social media is done in a conscious manner now because I know how slippery that slope is. One minute you’re admiring the beautiful vacation someone took and the next minute you’re wallowing in self-pity about how shitty your own life is.

Everyone is living different lives and it is very clear that social media is not what it seems. Most people show you the best versions of themselves. When they are laughing and looking their best in beautiful places. They don’t show you their tears, fears or struggles. Everyone has bad days. The person who’s life you think is perfect may be dealing with worse problems than you. For this reason, it’s very important to not compare your life at face value to other people on social media.

I also periodically assess how the people I follow make me feel. Do I feel inspired following this person or does it bring up negative feelings on my part? If I feel negative feelings, I unfollow that person immediately. It doesn’t matter if they are a stranger I met from the internet or a close friend. Surrounding myself with people who bring positive thoughts and feelings is important for my mental health and well-being! I believe our mental health is something we should not take lightly.

Ignore, Block, Repeat.

Whenever we are attacked by someone on the internet it’s very easy to think of a witty reply and lash out to the person that hurt you. But when you take a few seconds to assess the situation you realise that the people who are attacking you are probably projecting their insecurities on you. Once you’re aware of this, it is easier to let things go.

I have thankfully not been in any major conflicts on social media for a while now but I realised that they dwindled down once I started ignoring the people that attacked me. Arguing is a massive waste of time to me. It hardly goes anywhere and you can end up saying something very hurtful. I now have the policy of if I get attacked, I will silently block the person. It preserves my dignity and cuts the conflict short.

However, some things are harder to ignore than others and in that case, I’m an advocate for standing up for yourself. But it’s important to pick and choose our battles.

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Put things in perspective.

Putting your life in perspective and really acknowledging the privileges that you have is a good practice to adopt. You may not have a perfect life on paper, but there is almost always something to be thankful for. Focusing on the good things in your life can help you let go of the negativity. Also, having a positive outlook in the midst of negativity is a very important.

I also noticed that a lot of the things I used to get riled up about on the internet are really not that important in the grand scheme of things. Once I realized this, I stopped letting things get to me or offend me and just let it go!

Take a breather

Designating time to focus on you is great. It refreshes you and may make social media seem not so negative anymore. I have at least one day of the week where I don’t open my Instagram or WordPress. This activity became important to me after my Social Media Detox. It allowed me to forget the world of ones and zeros and really be in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave because there is this irrational a fear of missing out, but I always try to remember that it will be there when I come back!

Final Tip: Follow loads of meme accounts on Instagram, you will not be disappointed. LOL

I hope you enjoyed reading this post! I would love to know what your thoughts are on negativity in general.

How do you feel about negative posts and negativity on social media?

How do you deal with that negativity?

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Handling Rejections and The Power of Positive Thinking

Handling Rejections and The Power of Positive Thinking

When I was applying for my undergraduate degree in Biomedical Science, I was rejected by 4 out of the 5 schools I applied to. To make matters worse, I got rejected by these schools one by one until it was only that one school left. It was one of the most demoralising times of my life. I was extremely anxious and uncertain of my future and what would happen if I couldn’t go to school that year.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing that happened. Although I got accepted by only one school, it turned out to be the perfect university for me. Studying in Salford University made me fall in love with Biomedical Science. It allowed me to excel and I graduated with a First Class Honours Degree! (For some context for my non-British readers, my grades were evaluated to be equivalent to a 3.83/4 GPA by WES)

My university experience is just a type of rejection that you could experience. There are so many different things that people go through that are way worse than silly university applications. They are not defined by their circumstances and their rejections. They never let it get to them. They are extremely inspiring to me!

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Rejection

Getting rejected sucks. And it especially sucks when you poured your heart and soul into something and no one appreciates, no one wants it, people laugh and completely ignore it. You feel inadequate, like something is wrong with you and you try to analyze everything you did and what you could have done differently. These were thoughts that crossed my mind on a number of occasions. But during these last few years I have reformed my way of thinking and I have began to adopt a positive mindset. Adopting a positive mindset has allowed me to enjoy life more. I appreciate the simpler things and I understand that it’s okay to try again!

Getting Positive

Call me crazy but I truly, truly believe positive thoughts attract positive things. What you think can really affect the outcomes of situations in your life.  It’s like the law of the freaking universe.

I often draw inspiration from extraordinary people whenever I approach challenging situations in life. As future scientist, I am inspired by scientists that succeeded above all odds. One peculiar example is Thomas Edison: a great inventor and businessman. Most people know him as the man who invented the lightbulb. When he was younger, Thomas Edison’s teachers said that he was “too stupid to learn anything”. He was fired from a number of jobs he had because he was “unproductive”. He also had 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the lightbulb. One thousand, painstaking, detailed attempts! Thomas Edison was rejected and experienced thousands of failures before his successes. His drive and ambition was extraordinary!

Rejections and failures are a normal part of life but you  only need one yes or success for things to turn around. In times of rejection, I believe having a positive mindset is crucial because it allows you to handle negative situations properly. Don’t give up!

Have Faith

In Christianity, faith is the pillar of it’s belief. We hope for things that we do not see and things we can never understand.  In hard times, we are encouraged to have faith and hope that things will work out for the greater good. In fact, faith is so powerful in Christianity that a parable says that even if you have faith as small as mustard seed, you can move a mountain! Even if you are not a religious person, having faith allows you to keep your head up high and not be overwhelmed by your problems.

Hope

I always say to myself if rejections happen that it’s not the end of the world. It may feel like it but just keep hoping. Never stop hoping for positive things. Affirm that you will receive them and work really hard for it. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work out the first time. Try again, try harder and in different variations. Above all, hope for the best. Believe that the universe is working for your good and not against you. Hope that everything will work out for the greater good!

How do you handle rejections?

Thank you for reading!

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The Art Of Decluttering

The Art Of Decluttering

I find it ironic that I had a closet filled with clothes but nothing to wear, or a makeup counter bursting with products but I found myself using the same lipstick and wearing the same clothes everyday. I was also surrounded by a room that was beginning to turn into an episode of Hoarders (which is a really interesting show by the way). I was overwhelmed with items around me that really didn’t make me happy.

I had been away from my family home for 3 years and now that I was back, I was confronted with the clutter that had accumulated over the years. Books and clothes that hadn’t been read or worn in years were stacked in every corner. It was so much that I didn’t have space to keep the things I actually use. It was truly suffocating.

I came across a great book by Marie Kondo called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying” which has really changed my perception of items I keep around me.

Most people are a “I’ll use it one day” or “just incase”  type of hoarder. This mentality makes me keep things that I really don’t need or like when it comes to clothing, books and makeup. I often felt guilty about throwing things away but I felt even more guilty for being surrounded by so much clutter.

After reading Marie Kondo’s book, the single most important thing I have learnt is recalibrating the relationship I have with the items I own. Now I sit and consider if an item I own “sparks joy” in me. Do I feel good, fulfilled and happy using this item? This is how I understand the statement that is used extensively in the book. If it doesn’t, it is better to let it go.

I’ve discovered that I do not need to feel guilty for giving away things that are in perfectly good condition, things I may use one day (which hardly ever comes) and just incase items. We often feel we are protecting the items we own by keeping them close to us but in reality it is the opposite. These items are sitting in a corner collecting dust, often forgotten, not being used. Marie Kondo says “If our items could speak, would they be happy?” I don’t think so.

Letting go of these items gives them, in essence, a new life where they may be cherished and used by someone else. I’ve realised that each item plays a special role in our life; that purple lipstick you never used? It taught you what lipstick colours worked for you and what didn’t. It is time to thank it for fulfilling its purpose in your life and let it go. Those books you read halfway last year and have been meaning to complete? It’s time to thank it for entertaining you briefly and let it go.

This change in my mentality has led me to remove  an estimated three 50 gallon trash bags of things that do not “spark joy” in my room.

I have also learnt how to fold clothes properly. I usually stacked my clothes on top of each other when I folded them, which is a recipe for clutter, mess and crinkled clothes. Now I fold my clothes the Marie Kondo way; vertically and colour co-ordinate. This has helped my organisation and reduced the stress of figuring out what to wear since all my clothes can be seen at a glance.

Sadly, I didn’t take any pictures of my room before I started decluttering. I didn’t realize I would probably want to blog about the process.

However, just to give you an idea of how cluttered things could get, here was a picture of one of the most cluttered tables in my house:

Now tables look like this:

I feel like a minimalist princess. I don’t know who I am anymore. Thank you Marie Kondo. Seriously, get this book.

Now that I have somewhat handled my clutter problem, I am now interested in tackling my style problem. I don’t have access to the clothing I want to buy so I have to wait till September till I can buy a whole new closet. Through decluttering I discovered that I hate ALL my clothes and I don’t really have a personal style. I am now in a long process of discovering  my personal style and aesthetic. I am currently loving a classic, sharp smart wadrobe with lots of white and pops of red and mustard.

Questions! 

How do you personally tackle clutter?

Thanks for reading!

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20 Things I’ve Learnt In 20 Years 

20 Things I’ve Learnt In 20 Years 

In my 20 years of growing up I have learnt a lot of things through my experiences and I thought it would be nice to share them because it could be applicable to people of any age. Here they are!

  1. Humans are complex and extremely unpredictable creatures that can be capable of great evil or love.
  2. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time.
  3. Question everything. Never be afraid to question things that are considered norm.
  4. Always try to see the good in people.
  5. But don’t be naive. Even though some people have good qualities, a lot of people have ulterior motives and may not be genuine.
  6. Try to be aware and thankful for the privileges and opportunities you were born into.
  7. Motivation rarely gets you to complete a task. Being disciplined is far superior to motivation.
  8. Not everyone is going to like you. The sooner you accept it, the easier navigating relationships and friendships becomes.
  9. Everyone has different, interesting and even offensive opinions. Always listen with an open mind and try to broaden your view of the world.
  10. Things are not always in black and white. The whole world is a blob of messy grey areas.
  11. Your parents are probably right 99% percent of the time.
  12. Bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t make sense and I will probably never understand it.
  13. Healthy food doesn’t actually taste that bad, as long as you know how to cook it properly.
  14. Be silly and laugh a lot. It makes you feel better and relaxes you.
  15. Most things are not that serious. When you put things into perspective, will this really be important 10 years from now? If not, it’s probably not worth it.
  16. Be a problem solver instead of a problem dweller.
  17. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
  18. It is okay to be single. It will happen when it will happen.
  19. A lot of arguements are pointless and never get anywhere. Pick and choose your battles.
  20. Cherish and love your body. You may not like how it looks but it does a pretty fucking hard job of keeping you alive everyday.

That’s it! I turned 20 a few months ago and it kind of feels like the age where you aren’t really a child anymore so you should really have your shit together, but at the same time you haven’t fully entered adulthood. I am just enjoying this last few months of the baby-girl life before I become a full adult.

What have you learnt about people and yourself these past few years? Leave it in the comments section!

My Everyday Makeup Routine

My Everyday Makeup Routine

My everyday makeup is full faced with maximum coverage but very natural! I love wearing makeup everyday but since I am prone to foundation-induced pimples I now wear makeup 2-3 times a week.

Face:

  • Maybelline Fit Me Foundation – 355
  • Mac Mineralize Skin Finish Powder – Dark
  • Mac Mineralize Skin Finish Highlighter – Cheeky Bronze
  • L.A. Girl PRO Concealer – Chestnut and Toffee

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To begin, I apply the Maybelline Fit Me foundation all over my face to give me an even skin tone. I previously used Mac’s Studio Fix foundation but since I travelled to Florida, then moved back to Nigeria, I do not use it anymore because I started to break out. I suspect that the hot weather and this foundation do not agree with my skin.

Maybelline is the perfect foundation for hotter weathers because it is light, full coverage and doesn’t sink into your pores. The only down side is that it may not last as long as Mac’s studio fix throughout the day so you may need a touch up here and there. However, my skin has been popping so I’m not complaining!

I then apply the L.A Girl PRO Concealer under my eyes and I also apply this on my brows to sharpen them. I then set the foundation with my Mac Mineralize Skin Finish powder. This powder mattifies my face and gives a finished look. Finally, I apply the Mineralize Skin Finish Highlighter on my cheeks to give my cheeks a glowy, bronzy look.

Eyes:

  • Makeup Revolution Iconic 3 Redemption Eyeshadow Palette
  • Jordana FabuBrow – Dark Brown
  • Kiss Ever EZ Lashes- 01
  • Adventure Makeup Eye Tech Bold Liquid Eyeliner

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Next is my Eyes! I fill in my brows with the Jordana FabuBrow pencil and use Makeup Revolution Iconic palette on my eyelids. I usually go for bronzy, sultry eyeshadow looks so I use a lot of shimmery pinks and gold on most days because it’s cute and it goes with everything. I finish with the Adventure Makeup eyeliner and I usually go for a little wing.


Lips:

  • Mac’s Taupe Lipstick
  • Mac’s Bittersweet Lip Liner

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I finish off my makeup look with one of my favourite nude lipsticks. It is Mac’s Taupe lined with Mac’s Bittersweet lip liner. It is my favourite nude lipstick combo and it can be dressed up or down depending on your mood.

That is it for my everyday makeup look. Here is the finished look!

Please give this post a like if you enjoyed it and what does  your favorite everyday makeup look like?