3 Things That Made Me Accept My Natural Hair

I have had a complicated relationship with my hair. I grew up in a society that did not accept my natural hair, afro’s or dreadlocks. Straight silky hair was right and kinky hair was wrong. Right from when I was little, I went to the salon every three weeks to get a relaxer. Now if you don’t know what a relaxer is it’s a strong chemical that you put on your hair to straighten it permanently. I had extremely coarse and thick hair that my mother couldn’t comb so this was the best option at the time. Also, everyone was doing it so it was not a big deal.

I think most people can agree that relaxers are more harmful than good. The hair relaxers always burnt my scalp (yes, chemical burns on my scalp!!) but I always loved the straight silky look I got when I wore a relaxer.

I never knew what my actual hair looked like. I always had the impression that my hair was some sort of untamable beast that needs a relaxer unless all my hair would fall out.  It was unthinkable not relaxing my hair!

I also thought that people who had natural hair were dirty, lazy and god forbid they had dreadlocks. This was years of conditioning where I grew up where your natural hair was not appreciated.

 

3 things that made me accept my natural hair

Breaking the Stereotype

The first time I saw a woman with natural hair was on YouTube. Shoutout to Karen aka Glamfun. She looked beautiful, and she looked like me!! Could I really have hair like that? I decided to go natural because I was tired of using weaves as a crutch. I didn’t like the fact that I felt less of a woman once I didn’t have a weave on and felt the need to hide or compensate with more makeup!

It was then and there that I decided to go natural! It wasn’t always an easy journey but reminding myself of these three things finally made me accept my natural hair and love it for what it is!

  1. Your hair is a unique representation of you

Absolutely no ones hair can be the same. Your hair is designed perfectly for you. It’s adapted to your skin colour, your weather, even the colour of your eyes. Your hair has a personality of its own and you should never compare list for list with another persons hair. Using a natural hair typing system may be only part of the equation but just because you and someone have the same hair type does not mean you can do the same things on your hair and have the same results! It will always look different. Embrace its uniqueness cause that is you.

    2. Get preconceived notions of what you think “good hair” should look like out of your mind

I’ve learnt that healthy hair is good hair. Healthy hair always looks good no matter what texture, color or length. Once you remove unrealistic expectations of what you think your hair should look like and accept it for what it is, it will be great! I used to admire people who had long flowing locks of hair and hated natural hair. The self-hatred and conditioning was real ladies! Now I appreciate all hair types, but I have a special admiration for afro’s. They’re just a special breed awesomeness!

On days that I think my hair looks like absolute shit, I get 1000 compliments on it. So never think your hair is ugly because it’s not what you think it should look like!


medianet_width = "728";
medianet_height = "20";
medianet_crid = "584484687";
medianet_versionId = "3111299";

//contextual.media.net/nmedianet.js?cid=8CUA2FBT0

3. Stop obsessing over your hair length

When I first went natural I was obsessed with growing my hair long. I always had 16 inch weaves so to go from that to short hair was very challenging for me. I also felt like I had to grow my hair long because my hair had been grazing my neck my whole life and I wanted to prove to someone I could grow it long for some reason. This led me to do arduous things that I didn’t like only because it would give me long hair. Instead of enjoying my hair at every step of its journey, I was always obsessing over it. As long as your hair is healthy, it will grow!

Now I pretty much don’t care about having long hair. I’m even contemplating cutting it shorter because it’s so much more easier to manage! In the end, your hair is an extension of you. Accepting it may not always be easy, but once you do it is extremely liberating.

Thank you so much for reading! If you would like see one of the ways I take care of my natural hair check out my Ultimate Routine For Thick, Curly Hair!

IMG_4833.jpg

4 Fool Proof Tips For Thicker Natural Hair

My natural hair is currently the longest and thickest it’s ever been. I never imagined in a million years that I would prefer wearing my own hair over weaves and wigs. My hair had been neck length for as long as I could remember. It was also thin, straggly and had a lot of split ends. This was because I used to relax my hair, which is very damaging when done incorrectly.

My hair is currently armpit length, which is at the middle of my shoulders and bra strap. However you won’t know that because my hair grows up and outwards instead of downwards and it shrinks up to 90% of it’s length when wet! I also have ALOT of hair. Its both a blessing and a curse! Although my hair had been growing pretty quickly for two years, the third year of my natural hair journey was pretty challenging. I slowly started slacking in my hair care routine and  getting regular trims which set me back in terms of length and thickness. These past few months I have slowly getting my hair back to its former glory!

Here are some of the tips and products that have helped me get my hair back in tip top shape.

IMG_3579

Don’t Skip The Trim

Seriously, if your hair needs a trim and deep down in your heart you know, please trim it. I know my hair needs a trim when the ends become dry, tangle easily and it is difficult to comb through my afro smoothly. If I leave my hair without trimming it, I end up with more breakage because I have to yank the comb through my hair. When you also trim your hair, you get rid of thin, see through ends which makes your hair appear fuller and thicker!

Double Up On Oil 

Oils are an age old hair secret that is very crucial to promoting growth and getting thicker hair. I love using natural oils like Shea butter and Jamaican Castor oil. I use Jamaican Black Castor oil daily on my scalp and throughout the length of my hair after spraying it with water. I love these oils because they are thick, moisturising and make my hair softer compared to other oils.

oilblog

Oh Conditions, Conditions….

Conditioner is my hair’s saving grace. I don’t know where I would be without it! It makes my hair softer and more manageable when I want to comb it or style it. I don’t deep condition often but I use leave in conditioners almost everyday. The great thing about conditioner is that you can use a leave in or a rinse out, but as long as you use it often the health of your hair will improve because it will reduce dryness and breakage!

My current favourite conditioner is Aunt Jackie’s Quench Moisture Intensive Leave in Conditioner. It is definitely one of the best leave in conditioners I have used!

auntjacksblog.jpg

Be Patient

Hair grows about half an inch a month on average and it is slower for many people. Once you follow a good hair regimen your hair will grow! I would also stress the importance of loving and embracing your hair texture no matter what it is. Thin, thick, long or short. Hair envy is real and it makes you start manipulating your hair to look like something that it can never look like! This can cause a lot of damage internally and externally. I’m someone that always tries to enjoy the process of something than the end product, it makes it much more enjoyable! Be patient and enjoy your hair.

flower hair

Thanks so much for reading! What are your  tips for getting longer and thicker hair?